Tuesday, May 13, 2008



At his bedroom door, I knocked a few times, only to hear,
"Go away."
I turned the knob and pushed, surprised to have it give way to the light pressure
I put on it.
"Sidney, it's me." I couldn't see much in his dimly lit room, but I saw him on the
bed, his back to me.
"Aubs?" he asked, and I nodded, "Yeah babe, I'm here." I sat next to him, and
he turned towards me.
"I missed you," he let out, and I pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around
him as he did the same. "I know Sid, I missed you too." I ran the fingers of my left hand run up and down his back, with my right's up in his hair as his head lay on
my shoulder.
"We lost.. we lost.. I let everyone down," I heard him sob, and I felt his warm
tears falling onto me. "I don't know why they still want me to be
This caught my attention, but I didn't say anything. I just let him cry it out.
We sat there for nearly an hour and a half before I realized he was asleep.
"Poor boy," I sighed as I tried to lay back into the bed and get comfortable, and
Sidney just tightened his grip on me.
I didn't realize how deeply this truly hurt him until an hour ago. I knew he was
upset, but having his name on that Cup is his life goal, and it was his
first shot at all that glory.
Sid sure did put up a brave front, but he really isn't a superhero like most
people believe him to be.

I wasn't asleep for more than two hours when I heard, "Aubs?"
I felt something moving, and my eyes shot open. "Hmm?"
"Oh.. I thought I heard you leaving.." Sidney sounded afraid and vulnerable..
and reminded me of a little boy.
"I'm not going anywhere, Sidney. Go back to sleep," I reassured him as I ran a
hand through his tangled hair. "But I'm not tired anymore.." "Try and go to bed.
I know you haven't slept in a week."
I smiled as he yawned, "Ohhkayy."
I closed my eyes, and heard Sid, "Aubrie?" "What Sid?" I sighed a little.
"Anytime, babe." Another couple of seconds passed.
"Hey... Aubs?"
"I love you." "I love you too Sidney." Then he settled down and fell asleep, and
I followed shortly after.

I was up for good around noon, but it wasn't like I could get up and make lunch
before Sid woke up. I swear, it's like he glued himself to me!
I finally woke the peaceful boy up, and I escaped his grasp.
"Come on, Sid. Let's get you in the shower. You need to bathe," I grimaced
slightly at his greasy-ness.
He simply groaned in response, not making an effort to get up.
"Sidney," I stood in front of him now as he lay back on the bed.
I grabbed his hands and pulled him up towards me. "You're going to take a
shower, and I'm gonna make lunch."
I pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the laundry basket.
"Pants off, Mister Crosby," I ordered, and he stared up at me with a playful,
frisky look.. and it almost covered all the sadness in his eyes.
"Ohhh. Nuh-uh! I'm not even gonna touch your greasy ass! Go get
He sighed and went into his bathroom, and once I heard the water running, I
rolled up the sleeves of Sid's sweatshirt and went into the kitchen.

As I was making our lunch, consisting of leftover shepard's pie, some caesar
salad, and some yummy green grapes, Mario came in.
"How's Sidney?" he asked, pulling out two plates for me as I got out forks and
"I can't say.. I don't know yet, because we didn't really talk.. I was just there for
him, y'know?" Mario nodded, "Thank you so much for coming over. Maybe now
he can start coping with it."
"It's no problem whatsoever. I was really debating on whether or not I should
have just shown up or let him be. I'm glad I came." I finished up the plates and
set them on the tray with our drinks, then gave Mario a hug and went back into
Sid's room.
Sidney was sitting on his bed in shorts and a tee shirt, his hair soaking wet, but
hey, he's clean.
"Watch yourself, or I may just have to jump you right now," I laughed as I
handed him his lunch.
"I wouldn't mind too much," he shot me a half smile as he began to

After lunch, we were laying on the bed watching a movie, rather than the
playoff games he recorded with his DVR. Yeah, Mario was right.
Sid's head was resting on my stomach, and I was absent-mindedly trailing my
fingers up and down his back while staring at the screen.
"Mm.. that feels good," he sighed, and the feeling of him talking on my tummy
set me to giggles.
Once I quieted down, I asked, "Hey Sid? What did you mean when you said
that you couldn't see why they still wanted you to be captain?"
He rolled over to face me rather than the TV, and he looked a little guilty.

"In January, before the All Star games, Michel and the team asked me if I'd be
captain, and after thinking about it, I just wasn't ready. Now, their offer
still stands, and I know I'm ready to handle it. But what'll happen if I let
everyone down again?" "Is this the part where I give you one of my little
motivational spiels now?" "I could really use one right now," he

"Alright," I took a second to think before I began.
"You are not the soul reason the Pens lost this series. Your team,
as a whole, doesn't have a ton of playoff experience, and this was great
practice for you all. Ottawa is full of older, more experienced guys, who knew
exactly what to expect, and what to do. Don't forget, you have done so, so,
so much for the team during the regular season, that I can't see any
other choice for a captain as good as you. You might be the youngest ever, but
you'll definitely do one hell of a job," I smiled as I finished.
"I don't know how, or why.. but you always make me feel so much better," he
told me a few minutes later. "It's what I do," I shrugged, ruffling his hair.

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